The Hetalia nations take their driving tests
by Vintage Sniper
Summary: The Hetalia nations under the command of Driving instructor Switzerland take their driving tests. But while doing their theory exam, Prussia, who had been listening to a bit to much Rammstein starts causing grief. But they all fail their theory test. 2 months later, when they retake their theory test, will the succeed their driving test? Find out...
1. Chapter 1

The Hetalia nations take their driving tests.

Find out what happens when the Hetalia Nations take on their driving tests under the command of Switzerland, they fail their written test and they have to take a driven test again a bit later, but will it all end well?

I came up with this after watching "Moments with Heavy - Heavy Takes his Driving Test" by the late kitty0706 who sadly passed away early this year,

so this is a sorta Hetalia themed tribute I guess...

* * *

It was no normal day at the Driving Test Centre, or the DTC facility, as the Hetalia nations were taking their driving tests under the command of Switzerland, but they were taking their written driving theory exam. Basch had to go on a course to learn to be a driving instructor for this test, and also had to take on the gruelling exam himself. He cast his eyes over the room, as America, England, France, Prussia, Germany, Italy, Russia, Japan, Canada, China, Spain and Austria were preparing to do their written test.

Italy was somewhat anxious without his brother, Romano. "Hey..hey he...Switzerland!" he gasped to Basch who turned onto him with an unimpressed eyes. "Vhat is it Feliciano? You do know zhat ve all must be quiet during zhe exam!" he grumbled. "Where is Romano, I want to do my test with him..." gasped Feliciano. "He has already taken his test..." replied Basch grumpily "He did it before you, now, silence!"

Germany was not to impressed either. "Italy, you dummkopf..." he grunted to himself as he sat down after returning from the toilet, thus letting America go and use the toilet before the exam started. Ludwig sat down. "Now ve have to vait until Alfred gets back from zhe bathroom" said Basch. Ludwig had a look at his sheet, and then he saw something. Prussia had played a prank on him while Ludwig was at the toilet. He had written _'Du Bist Fett' _on his paper, that had been translated into German, by Basch and his knowledge of English, German, French and Italian. He had to use a translation machine for the other languages.

Ludwig glared at Gilbert. "Vhy zhe hell did you write '_Du Bist Fett_' on my verksheet?!" he growled. Gilbert just laughed. "_JA, DU BIST FETT!_! ZHAT IS YOU! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" and then he whispered "_Deine Mutter ist auch fett!_"Then Gilbert burst out into hysterical laugher. Ludwig stared crossly at Gilbert.

Basch tried to sort the situation out. "Gilbert! Vill you please stop zhat, _SOFORT!_" he said sternly to Gilbert who was too busy laughing his arse off to even care. "STOP!" yelled Basch and Ludwig, and with that Gilbert got back on his chair. Basch walked over to have a look at what Gilbert had written on Ludwig's sheet. "_'Du Bist Fett'_? Please refrain from writing zhings like zhat on people's verksheets, I am varning you Gilbert!" said Basch sternly to Gilbert who then subsided at the threat.

Then Alfred returned from the toilet. "Ahhh...much better" he sighed in satisfaction. "Hey guys, I'm back!" and then he sat down in his designated seat, near to where England was. Arthur turned his eye to Alfred. "I'm trusting you not to look at my sheet and cheat..." said Arthur to Alfred. "Why do I need to?" replied Alfred "Because the rules of the road are different to yours Iggy, like, we drive on the right..." "Okay okay okay Zhat is enough!" said Basch sternly. "Ve shall begin our test in a minute, so I vill like you to get your pens at zhe ready"

They all responded to the command and got their writing tools ready, but not without some banter between each other. "Hehehehehe" sniggered Gilbert "I vill be zhe most awesome driver on zhe whole Road...I am too awesome to stop at traffic lights, zhey can get out of my vay!" Austria turned to Gilbert. "No, you vill obey all of zhe rules of zhe road...zhat is vhat zhey are zhere for" he replied sternly. Meanwhile, France was on to England. "Ho, I don't need to look at your work..." he said cheekily to Arthur "I have my own rules, and my sheets translated into my language, and I will drive better zan you" Arthur stared at Francis "Don't even think about..." he spluttered. "DON'T TALK TO ME IN SUCH A PATRONIZING WAY!" "I am better for driving on ze right hand of ze road" replied Francis "I do zat because of Napoleon, because he was left handed, and everyone follows suite wiz me. Thought you'd like to know..."

Arthur was having none of it. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME BECAUSE I DRIVE ON THE LEFT!" he yelled. Japan also got involved. "Well you folks know I drive on the left as well" he said "So don't laugh at me either" Basch wanted to end the banter and get on with the test. "SILENCE PLEASE!" he yelled firmly. Everyone stopped at that. "Do not make fun of Arthur or Kiku because they drive on the left" he said "Now vill all of you sit down" They did it at once. Spain gave out a chuckle as he sat down. He thought the banter was fun.

Russia had a question. "Excuse me Switzerland" he asked to Basch "How did you learn about international rules of the road and translations?" Basch replied "I vent on a course to learn about it all, and zhe localized rules of zhe road for each of you, and I also used zhe translator machine for your sheet Ivan, as vell as China, Japan, Spain, so I am sorry if zhe translation is not accurate for zhose vho I mentioned" Everyone was now ready for the test. "Now vill all of you be quiet" said Basch "Zhere is to be no talking during zhis exam, and no cheating, but zhe language barriers vill help prevent cheating, as vell as zhe rules of zhe road...okay, zhe exam starts now" Then the room fell into silence as the Hetalia nations got to work on their theory exams.

* * *

As soon as the silence fell, the exam was in full swing, but Prussia while doing the exam was daydreaming of himself being the driver of a Porsche speeding down the autobahn at very high speed. "I vill be zhe most awesome driver ever" he said to himself "No one can stop me" He had a look at a question that in German said "What do you do when there is a pedestrian on the road" Gilbert took a moment to think. "Hmm...ah screw zhe pedestrians! Zhey can get out of mein vay! Step aside, make vay _für _Gilbert!" With that he circled the answer that translated to "Run all pedestrians over "All zhe pedestrians are Dummkopfs" giggled Prussia to himself.

Canada however was looking at his sheet, he had hit a question that seemed somewhat obscure. "What is that doing there?" he wondered to himself. The question read "What must you do when there is a truck reversing in front of you" Matthew thought. "Erm...trucks reversing? Er...I...i..i.i.i..i.i.i.i.i..i.i. ...cannot wait all day for trucks reversing!" he gasped to himself and the quickly circled the answer "Jump over the truck and carry on without consideration" Matthew felt pleased with himself "Stupid Trucks" he said to himself.

Francis on the other hand was at the question about the Pedestrians. He had a look. "Hon...euh..." he said to himself "Zis could be a good one...euh..." He stopped a minute to think. "_Moi..._" he thought "I will always let ze _Madames_ past, always let ze _madames_ past, but _les hommes, _zey can wait, or get run over...hon hon hon hon hon, unless it's ze Baguette man at ze bakery!" Francis chuckled as he filled in the question about the pedestrians. Basch heard his giggles. "Silence please Francis!" he said quickly. "Vhat are zhey finding so funny?" he muttered to himself.

Germany was at another question, but then he saw Gilbert trying to peer over to his shoulder. He then pushed Gilbert back. "_Nein!_" he said firmly to Gilbert who just caught the eye of the question about the Pedestrians. Ludwig had circled the answer about running over the pedestrians, as he thought he was too important to wait for stupid pedestrians. "Heheheheheheh" sniggered Gilbert "Zhe Pedestrians vill surely get crushed by your fat slab of bodyveight! Heheheheh!" Ludwig slapped Gilbert on the head. "Silence!" he snapped firmly and then got back to work. "And stop saying I am fat!" Gilbert retorted "Or zhey can get squashed by your big fat arse!" Ludwig got annoyed. "STOP ZHAT NOW, OR YOU'LL BE DISQUALIFIED!" snapped Basch firmly. "SILENCE!"

Ludwig subsided and then got back to the next question. It translated to "What must you do when there is an emergency vehicle passing by, e.g. Fire Engine, Ambulance, Police Car" Ludwig had a think. Normally, you would pull over when an emergency vehicle was passing. But Ludwig had other ideas. "Ah...screw zhat" he muttered to himself quietly "I am more important zhan zhey are!" And he circled the "Carry on driving" answer. Austria also thought that he was too important for stopping for pedestrians and letting emergency vehicles pass by, so he filled the somewhat same answer in.

Spain had reached another question to do with pedestrians. It roughly translated to "What must you do when there is elderly people crossing" Antonio stopped for a minute. "Eh wait...what are elderly people?" he asked himself. "Does that mean to say old grannies and such?" He tapped his fingers to a flamenco beat while he thought about it. "Eh...urm...well...they'll die soon, so it does not matter if they get run over..." he said to himself and circled the answer that translated to "Carry on driving and run them over"

Switzerland then got up. "Okay listen up" he said "I need to go and get some files zhat are related to zhe test, I am going to have to leave you here, but I trust you not to cause a commotion, and I specifically mean you, Prussia!" Gilbert stared at Basch with a sheepish look. "_Ja..._" he uttered. "Okay, so I vill be off, I expect you to carry on vorking, I vill be back" "Yes" replied the other nations as Basch left the room.

_Author's notes:_

_RIP Kitty0706_

_England and Japan are the only ones who drive on the left side of the road, the others drive on the right. _

_Switzerland can speak German, French, Italian as well as English, so he wrote the exam for most of the countries, but for Russia, Spain, Japan and China, he used the translator machine. _

_Napoleon is reputed to have been left handed, and for that reason, he led his Soldiers on the right, and many of the countries he invaded now drive on the right, _


	2. Chapter 2

Switzerland had left the Driving Test Centre, leaving an exam that was under his command with England, America, Prussia, Germany, Italy, Spain, China, Japan, Russia, Austria, Canada and France who were doing their theory test. Basch was heading off to get his answers for England and Japan, as they required special tests that were adapted for driving on the Left hand side of the road. "I vill get zhese papers and zhen see if zhem idiots have been causing a riot" he muttered to himself as he hurried down the street to where he kept the papers.

But Prussia took the chance to cause more grief to Germany. He got up and whispered to Italy. "Go tell Germany zhat he is fat" Feliciano got up. "Ve!" he replied and did as what Gilbert told him. Gilbert Sniggered. "Hey Germany" chirped Feliciano to Germany. "You're Fat!" Ludwig quickly flashed his eyes. "_WAS SOLL DAS HEIßEN?!_" he gasped in disbelief. Then he heard Gilbert laugh hysterically. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Austria got up "Look Italy, I told you before, never do anyzhing hell tells you to!" he said sternly to Feliciano.

But then Gilbert had something else in mind. He went up to the CD player that was in the facility for some reason. "Hey listen to zhis!" he yelled out. "Zhis is Rammstein! AND IT'S AWESOME!" And Gilbert put on Rammstein's 'Feuer Frei' on the CD Player and turned up the volume loud. "What the bloody hell?!" grumbled Arthur as he heard the music play. "_Quoi?_" spluttered Francis who got disturbed from his Exam. "Aw Great..." sighed Alfred.

Roderich was not impressed either. "I absolutely deplore of Rammstein" he said to Gilbert who was now singing to the German lyrics of the song. Then he yelled out #_FEUER FREI!_# and then began head banging to the guitars and the drums. "ZHIS IST SO AWESOME!" he sneered gleefully. Roderich then turned the CD player off. "Zhis type of music is unacceptable!" he said sternly and threw away the Rammstein disc much to Gilbert's horror. "_NEIN!_" he gasped. China sighed. "This is not gonna end well..."

"Zhis is supposed to be an exam!" snapped Ludwig to Gilbert "Playing music is not allowed at all!" Gilbert just sneered. "Oh yeah?! You're still fat! Oh and Piano guy vizh zhe head up zhe arse, you suck as vell!" "ENOUGH!" barked Roderich quickly. "GO TO HALIFAX!" snapped Ludwig to the horror of Arthur and Matthew.

"OI!" barked Arthur quickly "JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE ON ABOUT?!" "Well..." said Alfred "He's probably on about that bank you invest your life savings in, what more wrong can Yorkshire banks go?" "AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE ON ABOUT?!" Gasped Canada in horror "I know where you mean..." "FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" grumbled Arthur "HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I INVEST MY LIFE SAVINGS?!" "Well..." replied Alfred "You left some of your bills at Christmas a few years ago when you delivered my Christmas cards and you went off to Canada and you had your bills in the bag..." Arthur fumed. "Don't remind me!" he grumbled "That's when I realized I left my bills at your house and I had to get them while you were having a shower!" Alfred began to blush as he remembered himself at that event when Arthur had called to get his bills that he left at Alfred's house while he was in the shower. He had to rush downstairs with a towel over his body and the towel fell on the floor in front of Arthur revealing Alfred naked while Alfred dashed off covering his dick. "AAAAAARGH!" he remembered saying "DON'T LOOK AT MY DICK!" before he grabbed the towel and rushed upstairs.

"Crap that was embarrassing!" gasped Alfred "I really hope you did not see my dick back then!" "DON'T BRING IT UP IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!" snapped Arthur. "HAHAHAHA!" laughed Gilbert. "ZHAT IS SO FUNNY!" "IT'S NOT!" spat back Alfred "If ya don't stop it, I'll shove a baseball bat up where the sun don't shine!" Canada however had enough of this charade. "Will you all please stop!" he gasped "Switzerland is gonna come back and kill us all!"

"Euh...I don't zink he will kill us" said Francis "But..." "Oh yeah he is gonna kill you!" replied Gilbert "Like the Charlie Hebdo incident!" Francis was horrified. "DON'T REMIND ME OF ZE CHARLIE HEBDO ATTACK!" he wailed and then broke down crying. "Je suis Charlie, je suis Charlie" he whimpered. "Oh look, now you made him cry!" said Alfred. "Oh well" said Russia "It's a wakeup call!" "Oh yeah...like Nine-Ele..." then he got cut off as Switzerland entered the room.

"VHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!" he barked sternly as he saw the commotion. "I ZHOUGHT I TRUSTED YOU TO GET ON WITH YOUR EXAM! And why is France crying?!" Alfred blurted out. "Gilbert said something about the Charlie Hebdo attacks, and he was gonna mention 9/11!" "He also blasted Rammstein on zhe CD Player" added Roderich. "Vhat? Me?" asked Gilbert. "GO TO HELLIFIELD!" snapped Ludwig, to the insult of Arthur. "OI!" snapped Arthur "WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE ON ABOUT?!"

"QUIET! QUIET PLEASE!" said Basch. "I vant more vitnesses to zhe events" Ivan and Yao spoke up. "I saw that Gilbert told Italy to say that he was fat" said Yao "And then he turned on...music by a band called...euh...erm..." "Rammstein" said Ivan "Ah yes thanks Ivan" said Yao "Then he angered Luwig to the point of saying 'Go to Halifax' that insulted Arthur and Matthew for some reason" "Well that's because of Halifax in Nova Scotia!" said Matthew. quickly. "And that's because of Halifax in West Yorkshire!" said Arthur in unison with Matthew. "And he also said something about Hellifield in North Yorkshire!" added Arthur. "And that reminded me of an incident a few years ago that got me very embarrassed!" added Alfred. "OKAY ZHAT IS ENOUGH!" said Basch. "Well, that did not go well" said Kiku who had completed his exam sheet despite the disturbance.

"Vell zherefore Gilbert!" said Basch sternly "You have cause a disturbance! For zhat you vill complete your exam in zhe single room over zhere and you vill be locked in, or in ozher vords, you vill do it in solitary confinement!" With that he grabbed Gilbert's papers and dragged him into the single room and sat him down. "COMPLETE IT!" he said and then locked the door. "Well that were fucked up!" exclaimed Alfred as Basch walked back into the main room. "I vould like to congratulate Japan, China, Spain and Russia for completing zheir exam during zhe period of disturbance!" He then took in their papers and let them go.

Then he turned to America, England, Canada, Austria, Italy, France and Germany who had not finished their exam due to the disturbance. "I vould of zhough you vould of ignored Gilbert, and carried on, and I am speaking specifically to Arthur, Alfred, Matthew and Francis, I vould of hoped you four vould not of got involved, as a result, you have set yourselves back" "Sorry" sighed Alfred, Arthur, Matthew and Francis. Then Basch turned to Ludwig, Roderich and Feliciano. "As for you Italy, Roderich is quite right, DO NOT DO ANYZHING ZHAT GILBERT TELLS YOU! Ludwig, Roderich, I know zhat you vere zhe victims of his pranks, but you could of stopped zhe conflict from escalating, especially Ludwig, now all of you get back to vork!" With that all the nations got back to their exam.

* * *

Later, after the painful exam was over and Gilbert had completed his exam, Basch then let out a sigh of relief. "Zhank God it is over" With that he could now check the results of the test. He first of all had to put the results of Russia, China, Japan and Spain through the translation machine. "Zhis is gonna take some time" muttered Basch to himself as put Russia's results through the machine. But he had the whole training centre to himself, as the other Hetalia nations had gone home after their exam. "Zhis is gonna take all night" grumbled Basch and he went to get himself some coffee while the translator machine was processing the results.

When Basch came back, the results had been translated and Basch could have a look at them. "Okay" he grumbled to himself as he looked through Russia's results, and at the same time, put Spain's results through the translator machine. Basch grumbled as he looked through the results. "Damn, I zhough he vould of done better" and he gave a cross to one of the answers. Then another cross, and another cross, and another cross. "Zhis is not good..." sighed Basch and then calculated the score. Ivan had failed his test. Basch grumbled and waited for the translation machine to finish processing Spain's results. He got out his Cyrillic stamp and then asked the translation machine to translate "Fail" to Russian. He got the result "Провал" and then stamped it to Russia's results.

He then carried on through the night processing the results, that he was not very pleased about, as it became apparent that all of the Hetalia nations had failed their written tests, and Prussia had been actually a hindrance. The next morning, he gave the results. Germany was the first to get his results and then he saw the word '_Versagt_' stamped on the front of his results. "_VERSAGT?!_ _WAS SOLL DAS HEIßEN?!_" he grumbled as he saw that he failed. "Vell, unfortunately you failed" said Switzerland. "_SCHEIßE_!" thundered Ludwig as he stomped out of the room. The next to get his result was Prussia, then he also saw '_Versagt_' printed onto his results. "_VERSAGT_?!" he cried "_GOTT VERDAMMT_! I ZHOUGHT I HAD PASSED...!" Ludwig was directed back into the room and he saw that Gilbert had failed as well. "Vell zhat serves you right for vhat you did! CALLING ME FAT!" snarled Ludwig. "SHUT UP!" snapped Basch. Austria was the next to get his results and he to saw the word '_Versagt_' on his results. "I am most disappointed" he said "I am uttermost disappointed vizh zhe result!"

France was the next to get his results. There he saw the word '_Echoué_' printed onto his papers. "_Oh non...J'ai Echoué_?! _Merde..._" gasped Francis "HOW COULD I FAIL AT ZIS?!" He was not happy at the result either. England, America and Canada were the next to get their results. They saw the word 'Failed' printed on their results. "I failed?!" spluttered Arthur. "OH BOLLOCKS! I FAILED THE TEST! FUCKING HELL?!" "I failed?! I failed?!" cried Alfred "YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!" "Yes, I am!" replied Basch. "How can I fail at this?! Impossible!" gasped Matthew as he saw his failure. Russia was the next to get his results. His results of course were the first to be done by Basch. Ivan looked and saw 'Провал' printed on his results. "Чёрт!" grumbled Ivan as he saw that his test had failed.

Spain was next to see his results. "Okay, what do we have here?" he said as his results were handed and then he saw the word '_Fallar_' printed on his result sheet. "¡_Mierda_!" Antionio gasped as he saw his failure on the his results. Then Basch handed the results to Italy, China and Japan who had also failed their test. "I am very disappointed in all of you!" said Basch. "You have all failed your theory test! But however, you vill be retaking written your test in 2 months time, and zhen you vill be taking your driven tests, I vant you to get your act togezher before zhen! 2 Months from now! You are all dismissed!" With that the Hetalia nations left the facility, all of whom failed their written test.

_Author's notes:_

"_Go to Halifax" is another way of saying Go To Hell. Halifax is a town in West Yorkshire, and also a town in Nova Scotia, Canada, hence Arthur and Matthew getting insulted. Also "Go to Hellifield" was also said by Sailor Mars in Left 4 Moon 2, Hellifield is a village near my home town Skipton, North Yorkshire on the road from Skipton to Settle near the Yorkshire Dales. As a native and resident of Craven, I coined the term "Go to Hellifield"_

_Versagt, Провал, Echoué, Fallar all roughly translate to Failure_


	3. Chapter 3

2 months later however, Switzerland tried again. This time, America, England, Canada, Prussia, Germany, Austria, France, Italy, Spain, Russia, China and Japan all passed their written tests. Gilbert was watched somewhat sternly and did not cause any trouble. But he secretly was listening to Rammstein while taking his test, on a very low volume so no one could hear him. But when he shuffled through his pocket to change the track, Basch asked him what he was doing. "Gilbert, vhat are you doing?" he asked. "Eh, Nozhing, I have an itch on my top leg" replied Gilbert and he also wriggled his hand as if he was scratching to pull the wool over Basch's eyes.

Then later, after Basch had compiled the results, he announced the result. "You have all passed your written test" he said "But however, you vill need to take your driven test in a veek from today" The nations all gasped in awe. "Whoa...can you give us an old Ford Mustang or something?" asked America. "Or a Porsche?" added Gilbert. "I'd like a Mini Cooper" said England. "Yeah...Citroen 2CV for me!" added France. "How about a Honda for me" said Japan "That matches me up very well, or a Toyota?" "I vould like a Volkswagen Beetle" said Germany. "Fiat 500! Ve Ve Ve!" giggled Italy. "SEAT for me?" added Spain.

Basch had enough. "SILENCE!" he said sharply "You vill get vhatever car zhat is available, regardless of zhe make, and a RHD version vill be available for England and Japan, you vill get vhat you're given!" The nations subsided at that. Then Basch noticed Gilbert's earphones. "Vhat zhe hell?" he muttered "Gilbert?! For how long have you had zhem earphones in?" "Er...I only just put zhem on!" replied Gilbert. Basch looked at Gilbert. "I just hope you did not put zhem on during zhe test" he said. "No...I did not" replied Gilbert. Then Basch turned to the other nations. "You're all dismissed, driven tests vill be next veek!"

With that, the Hetalia nations left the Driver Training Centre for home, until 1 week's time.

* * *

1 Week later however, America, England, Canada, Prussia, Germany, Austria, Italy, Spain, Russia, Japan, France and China all turned up to the Road Test Centre unit of the DTC where Switzerland was waiting for them. "Okay, you are all here" said Basch "And now, zhis is zhe car zhat everyone except England and Japan vill be using" And he pointed to a car that he got from the former Eastern Block, but he fitted a new engine in and modernized the parts but keeping the old look. "_WAS ZUR HÖLLE?!_" gasped Gilbert "IS ZHAT A **TRABANT**!" "_Oh Mein Gott, _zhat is a Trabant!" grumbled Germany. "I am not taking my driving test in a Trabant!" said Roderich haughtily.

"You idiots!" barked Basch. "Zhat is not a Trabant! Zhat is a 1979 Škoda 120L, it is not a Trabant, only heavily modified by me and a few ozhers." Everyone except England and Japan started at the Heavily modified 79 Škoda 120L, it was an old Eastern Block car after all. "Holy Crap" gasped Alfred "Hope there is nothing to communist about it..." "ENOUGH!" barked Basch "Or you might be insulting Czechia!" "Alright" sighed Alfred. "Don't wanna break my friendship..."

Basch then cleared his throat to present another car. "And zhis is zhe car zhat England and Japan vill be using" and Basch pointed to a 1997 Rover 400H , much to Arthur and Kiku's delight. "Whoa...that looks amazing!" smiled Arthur as he saw a British made car in front of him. "Hmm...yeah that is nice" added Kiku, and the others looked in dismay. "Zhat is not fair!" said Roderich haughtily "Vhy do England and Japan get a more modern car vhile ve have to use a recycled Easter Block car zhat is modified" "Zhat is vhat I could find!" replied Basch. "Like it or Lump it! I did tell you zhat you vill be getting vhat you are given!" "Well a Ford Mustang would have been better..." sighed Alfred.

"Anyvay, enough of zhat" said Basch firmly "Now vill you please give me a moment and Germany shall be zhe first one to do his test" With that Basch got into the Škoda 120 and started it up. It made a somewhat turbo roar, similar to a Ford Mustang, much to Alfred's delight. Ludwig stood in his position waiting for the car to be handed to him. Basch got out and explained the course. "Okay, so, zhe course cannot be much simpler. You must drive vizhin zhe orange cones, look of for pedestrians and trains, and zhere is also jump ramps as vell. Zhere vill also be a bit of racetrack like road for about 500 meters before a 180 degree turn back and anozher 500 stretch of track, before some more jump ramps and zhen you vill land back here on zhis ramp" As he pointed to the ramp in question, the nations had a look. "Is zhat clear" asked Basch. "YES!" the nations replied.

Ludwig got into the test car ready for his driving test. "Vell, zhis should be easy" he said as he got behind the wheel and ready to pull away, but he had to hold his fire for Basch to get in with his clipboard. "Okay, you're good to go!" said Basch and with that, Ludwig put his foot on the accelerator and pulled away. "Zhis car is defiantly not a Trabent..." thought Ludwig as he began to tear through the course. Basch began to make his notes as Ludwig tore through the course.

Then Ludwig saw a pedestrian on crossing the road. "Out of my vay you schtupid pedestrian!" snarled Ludwig and accelerated towards the pedestrian, running him over. "_Dummkopf!_" rumbled Ludwig and carried on towards what looked like a British Rail Class 153 train that belonged to Northern Rail be used as the train for the crash test course. "Vhat is zhis?!" grunted Ludwig and he tore across the track before the train could hit him. Then came the jump ramps over a pit of burning oil.

The car flew over the ramp and back onto the ground where Ludwig weaved through the cones but knocking several of the over and then reaching the half kilometre stretch, with that, he pressed down on the accelerator and the car sped down the track. "He is going to fast" though Basch "Could he not see the 120km limit?" "On zhese roads zhere is no speed limit!" grunted Ludwig. Then he soon saw the bend where he had to turn...but there was also an oil slick on the road. Ludwig did not see the oil slick until too late. "_VERDAMMT!_" gasped Ludwig as he slipped on the oil slick and crashed into the barriers, sending him flying out the windscreen and flying into a tree. Ludwig fell to the floor. "**ZHAT VAS MEIN NUTS**!" he screamed, as Basch filed in the report. The car had to be fitted with a new windscreen, but these were made to be easily installed to save time and effort.

Ivan was the next to take his driving test. "So, It's my turn, Да?" asked Ivan as he got in the car. "Yes, I zhink you know vhat to do" replied Basch. "Хорошо!" replied Ivan as he began his test. He pulled away and took the first corner of his test. But for some reason, there was a booster feature in the car's engine that can make it go a lot faster. Ivan found the "Turbo" button on the dashboard as he approached the pedestrian crossing with a pedestrian walking by. Ivan pressed the Turbo button and the Car boosted and shot past the pedestrian at the skin of his teeth.

The car then speed past the train and then approached the ramp. There the boost made the car take of like an aeroplane. "Vhat zhe?! Ve are flying?!" gasped Basch... "**VOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDKAAAAAAAAAAA**!" yelled Ivan as the car began to fly, past Moscow, past Perm, through the cold Siberian air, above Lake Baikal and Vladivostok, at this point Basch fell out the car. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" he screamed as he fell down to earth, landing on the finishing ramp. "Ooooh" he grunted and then began to get up but then Ivan and the car fell back down from the sky back on him. "Отлично!" laughed Ivan as he got out the car but then saw Basch. "You okay zere?" he asked. Basch got up and grunted.

Next up was Gilbert. "Ahahahha, zhis is gonna be awesome!" laughed Gilbert as he got in the car. As he got in he found a radio in the car. "ALRIGHT!" he chirped and then turned it on, much to Basch's disapproval. "I vill not have radio during zhe test!" he said firmly. Gilbert put it on and Rollin' by Limp Bizkit blasted out the speakers. "Hahahaha zhis is cool!" laughed Gilbert as he drove off. "Erm...hang on" then he changed the station. Then came on "What is Love?" by Haddaway, and with that, Gilbert began bobbing his face to the trademark beat. "Zhis seems appropriate!" he laughed. Basch then turned the Radio off. "Stop zhat now!" he barked. But Gilbert had other ideas. "Ah yes...RAMMSTEIN!" he laughed.

With that, he turned on 'Sonne' and when the guitars kicked in after Till Lindermann's counting, Gilbert began head banging to the beat. Basch had enough and turned the radio off. "ENOUGH OF ZHIS, NOW DO YOUR DRIVING TEST!" he barked. Gilbert stopped head banging and then put his foot on the accelerator. He saw the pedestrian ahead. "OUT OF MY VAY!" he yelled as he thundered forward at high speed and ran the pedestrian over.

Then he saw the train coming. "OUT OF MY VAY AS VELL TRAIN!" sneered Gilbert and tore across the tracks before the train hit him. "YEEEEEHOOOO!" hollerred Gilbert as he flew over the ramp. The next thing he did was weave his way through the cones, but he drove so recklessly that he knocked a lot over. Then there was the half kilometre. "HERE I GO!" laughed Gilbert and put his foot down on the pedal. With that, the car sped off like a rocket.

"GILBERT! VILL YOU SLOW DOWN!" yelled Basch "ZHIS IS GONNA MAKE ME VOMIT!" But Gilbert carried on tearing down the road, but then he saw the oil slick. "FUCK...GET OUT ZHE VAY!" He tore past the oil slick and round the bend, then back on the straight stretch of road. "SLOW DOWN!" cried Basch "I FEEL SICK!" But Gilbert did not, until he saw a tree on one side of the road. "OH FUCK!" he gasped and swerved past it, back towards the cone course and then to the finish. Basch got out the car and vomited in the bushes. He then filed the report, and added that it made him vomit his previous 2 meals he had in the day. Then he took a drink of water.

Next up however was Arthur. Basch walked over to start up the Rover 400 for Arthur, and drive it to him. "Oh this is just so excellent" remarked Arthur as he got into the car. It did not have that Mustang like sound of the other car. Basch belted in on the other seat, as this was a RHD car. "Okay, lets go!" said Arthur and he drove off. "Out of my way you bastard traffic cones!" he snapped as he tried to get on track. Then he came up to the pedestrian crossing. Arthur was not paying to much attention until too late, where he slammed on the brakes to try avoid running the pedestrian over. But he knocked him over and he had to go to hospital with a broken leg.

Arthur then found the train. "Bloody Northern Rail!" he thought to himself. "They've done enough to cause misery by making people ride cattle trucks that bounce up and down!" By that, he was alluding the the Pacer DMUs that no one liked. Arthur charged forward at the train to try and push it off the rails. But he missed. "Bollocks!" grunted Arthur and then reversed to get ready for the ramp. After a charge forward and jump over the ramp, there came the cone test. Arthur weaved his way through the cones but hit a few as well as knocking over a wooden water tower.

Then came the half-Kilometre run. "I'll get this bloody thing out the way" grumbled Arthur and then hit the acceleration down the road. "Fucking hell, an oil slick!" gasped Arthur as he saw the oil slick near the bend so he swerved to try and avoid it. "Bloody hell that was close!" he sighed to himself, but then ahead was the fallen tree. "What is that fucking doing there?!" he gasped as he passed the tree. "Bloody hell!" Then he got to the end of the track and skidded to a halt before doing the final leg of the test. Arthur had no patience so he stamped the pedal and sped off before completing the test, but not before bumping into a tree. "That was so..." gasped Arthur as he left the vehicle. "I don't know what to say"

Next up was Alfred, who was quite eager to do his test. "Alright! This is on!" he giggled as he got into the Škoda 120L. "Man this is gonna be a Mustang of an experience" With that he pulled away quickly and began to see the traffic cones. "Heh well...whatever" laughed Alfred and then accelerated towards the Pedestrian crossing. "'Scuse me coming through!" called Alfred as he sped past the pedestrian towards the railway track where the train was approaching. He sped across the tracks but the train just clipped the tail end of the car and Alfred swerved out of control knocking over several cones, but he managed to stop.

"Holy crap that was close!" he gasped before reversing to tackle the ramp. "HERE WE GO!" he laughed before pressing down the pedal to fly over the ramp and back onto the ground where all the cones were. Alfred did not actually knock any cones down but before the half-kilometre stretch, he stopped and got out the car. "I gotta pee" he said and ran towards a tree just a few meters away. "Vell be quick!" said Basch as Alfred unzipped his trousers and started peeing.

Basch went to his notes. "Vhy has he not put zhe hazard lights on vhen stopping in zhe middle of zhe road" he grumbled and wrote down a negative result. Basch grunted. "Zhey all seem to be failing so far, I vould of expected better from zhem!" He wiped the sweat off his face and then saw Alfred zip his trousers back up and come back into the car. "Much better" sighed Alfred and got behind the wheel again. "HERE WE GO!" and with that he pressed down on the accelerator.

Alfred sped down the road, but not as recklessly as Gilbert had. "This is fun...FUCK AN OIL SLICK?!" With that he swerved past the oil slick and around the bend and then passed the fallen tree. "I woulda though they'd cleared that!" muttered Alfred as he carried on down the road. Then he completed the final leg of the test and cheered. "THAT WAS COOL MAN!" Basch did not think his driving was cool at all.

Next up was Matthew. "I will...do my best!" he said as he got into the car. "I'll do it easy and not too fast" But then he remembered about his impatience of reversing trucks 2 months earlier. "Nahh, lets go!" he said and then pulled away.

He thought it was going well until he passed the pedestrian crossing where he actually let the pedestrian past. He hit a cone and lost control. "Whoa...WHOAAA...I'VE LOST CONTROL!" he cried and the car's tyres screeched over the road as Matthew struggled to regain control and finally crashed into a tree. "Zhat's vhy zhe car's front is made to be indestructible" said Basch grimly to a stunned Matthew. Then he reversed the car back to the start. Matthew did not do to well...

_Author's notes:_

_When the nations were saying their preferred car, it's a reference to the country where the car brand originates, like Citroen=France, SEAT=Spain._

_I know Czechia is not an official character, only exists in OCs, but was mentioned because of course of Škoda that is from the Czech Republic. Somehow before the war, Czechoslovakia used to drive on the left like Arthur and Kiku, but it was changed since Hitler invaded the Czech lands and they've driven on the right ever since. _

_My family had a Rover 400 that we acquired from my Grandparents when I was young, it was dark green and was 400H, Hatchback model. It is pretty similar to what Arthur and Kiku are driving, as they are Left Hand Drivers._


	4. Chapter 4

Alfred rushed to the bank to pay his electricity and gas bills, the latter of which he did not know that he forgot to pay. When he got to the bank, there was literally 1 more minute before it closed down for New Year's day. "Aw crap aw crap aw crap aw crap!" cried Alfred as he rushed into the bank much to the surprise of the Bank Manager. "Excuse me sir" he said to Alfred rushing towards him "We're about to close for the New Year, we'll reopen on January 2nd."

"But this is urgent!" cried Alfred "I did not pay my electricity bills again this year!" The Bank Manager looked at Alfred. "Oh...not again..." he sighed "As I said, we will be closing this bank within seconds!" "BUT I WANT MY ELECTRICITY BACK, AND MY BILLS PAID, I'LL BE QUICK!" squealed a frantic Alfred who needed his electricity back. The Bank Manager gave in "I understand your situation, but we are gonna have to charge you $2 for making us run overtime" he said to Alfred. "That will go on top of your energy bill"

"Greg, close the entrance to the bank, we are closing now!" he called to a colleague "I'm gonna sort this man out here" Then the Bank Manager got to work to sort out Alfred's bill. "I sincerely hope that you've not forgotten to bring your credit card this time around" said the Bank Manager gravely as he got on his computer. Alfred had a shuffle through his pockets. "No sir, I have not" he replied and found his credit card. "Excellent" said the Manager as he saw Alfred's card. "Now will your fill your PIN number into the thingy here?"

Alfred always had trouble remembering his PIN number, so he had written it down in his wallet, but he had got a new Credit card as his old one had expired some time ago, so he had written that number down. "Okay...erm..." said Alfred "Here we go..." and he said the numbers quietly to himself. He was sure he was getting them right. Then he looked. "Aw Crap, incorrect pin?!" he gasped. He had made a small error in entering the PIN number.

Alfred tried again. He felt his heart thunder and his fingers shake as he entered in the correct pin number this time. "Whew, thank God that I got it right" he sighed. "Yes sir, you have" replied the Bank Manager as he scrolled around for Alfred's energy bills. "Do you get them through the mail?" he asked to Alfred. "Nah" replied Alfred "My postal company no longer delivers junk mail, and I class these bills as junk mail" "That is part of the problem sir" replied the Bank Manager.

The Bank manager them fumbled around for the bills, on the computer of course. Then he calculated the total amount of money that Alfred owed. "It seems that you've not paid your gas bills either" he said to Alfred. "WHAT?! HOLY SHIT!" exclaimed Alfred as he heard what he had not paid. "I did not realize I had not paid my gas bills either!" "As a result, you've been cut off on both supplies" replied the Bank Manager "Once you pay this, I will tell them to reconnect you, but you must listen here Mr Jones"

Alfred listened "You seem to be spending too much of your money on crappy food" said the Bank Manager sternly. "I can see by your account history that it is the case unfortunately, not only is it having an effect on your diet and health, it is also having an unhealthy effect on your finances, so if you do not buy all this bad stuff that is bad for you, then you won't have it affect you in any financial way as well. But anyway, your total bill rounds up to $1,601,39 plus the extra $2 that we've applied for making us run overtime" Alfred could not believe his ears. "WHAAA?" he wailed.

The Bank Manager looked at Alfred who was all shocked over. "What the fuck?" gasped the emotionally blown over Alfred. "Are you crazy?! Dayum!" The Bank Manager looked sternly at Alfred. "Mr Jones, we are not crazy" he said "And we want to put your power back online and gas back on as soon as possible, so could you please be quiet while I do this! I don't want to have to be working overtime as we are closing early for New Year, so let me get on with it or I'll levy an extra $5 onto your bill!" Alfred subsided at that threat.

The Bank Manager got to work fiddling on with computer until he finally made the $1,601.39 out of Alfred's bank account to the energy companies. Then he made a phone call to the energy suppliers to restore power to his house but also put Alfred on a sort of warning scheme, that if he does not pay his bill by the end of the month after the bill had arrived, the power will go out in his house until he pays.

"Well there you go Mr Jones" said the Bank Manager to Alfred as he finished his phone calls with the energy suppliers. "The power to your house has been restored, and so has your gas and heating, but listen here, if you do not pay your bill the at the end of the month after it is due, ie. If you don't pay your bill for May by the end of June, your power will go out until you pay your bill, and I hope you wont spend the majority of your money on the Hamburgers and shit that you devour into your mouth, I hope that has been a lesson for you. Happy New Year and remember what I said"

Alfred sighed. "Well that insult was uncalled far...but okay...I gotta pay my bills then!" and with that he left to head back home. The Bank should of shut 15 minutes ago but the Manager had to sort out Alfred's electricity situation. "Thank God that's done and dusted" he sighed while he shut the bank for the New Year.

* * *

Back at Alfred's house, the lights and the heating had all gone back on. Arthur was relieved. "Thank God that is over, I was just worried that he would be permanently disconnected from the electricity board for no longer paying his electricity bills. And I have to say Emily, you've been the only source of heat and warmth for this cold Three Quarters of an hour. Yet could I suggest zipping your jacket up?" Emily looked at Arthur all fuzzy. "Well thanks sweetheart" she replied happily "Nah...I'm okay with my jacket unzipped, it's only when it's freezing or very cold that I do so..." Alice on the other hand was shivering.

"Brrrrrrrrr" she shivered "It's like the fucking Arctic in here when it's cold, or am I extremely heat sensitive?" Germany looked at Alice. "I don't give a fuck" he said sharply. "I alvays put up vizh zhe cold, as I am used to it in zhe vinter, and I am quite tough as vell" Italy on the other hand was trying to snuggle warm with Ludwig. "It's too cold for my liking" groaned Feliciano "Germany..." "Shut up!" barked Ludwig "Zhe heating is back on so it vill varm up again!" Feliciano slouched against the radiator and felt the heat. "_Grazie a Dio" _he sighed as the warmth began to penetrate him.

France was also relieved by the restoration of the power and the heating. "_Mon Dieu_" he sighed "I never knew it to be zis cold when ze power goes out!" "I just hope Alfred comes back soon" added Alice "Hope he can warm me up for a change, as my arse is frozen to the chair!" She meant that metaphorically of course. "Lucky you were not the one that had to leave, and leave Emily cold!" she said to Arthur. "Instead...I had to suffer...as usual..."

"Oh...suffer what?" asked Emily "Breast Envy so much?" Alice went red in the face. "DON'T YOU EVEN MENTION THAT EMILY!" she barked at Emily. "And yes, I've seen the Northern Counties' breasts, you're lucky to have yours the same size of Yorkshire and Cumbria...!" Arthur overheard. "What the fuck do you mean?" he spluttered. "There's Nyotalia versions of the counties" replied Alice. "And Yorkshire and Cumbria have the biggest breast size, exactly the same as Emily!" "Oh Bollocks, the Counties are annoying enough but now there is Nyotalia versions?!" spluttered Arthur. "Yes" replied Emily "We discovered them" "Nyotalia Shropshire laughed at me for my small rack!" fumed Alice. "But I am the same size as Nyotalia Lancashire, and thankfully, only Suffolk and Norfolk's are smaller than mine" "Oh poor Norfolk, she's flat chested, but Suffolk was proud of being flat chested" replied Emily. "Oh give up you two" sighed Arthur.

Arthur did not get along well with the Counties. The Northern Counties, Cheshire, Lancashire, Cumbria, Durham, Northumberland and especially Yorkshire were the most annoying of the lot. Even Surrey and Kent were to a degree a nuisance to Arthur. But that is another story. But the Nyotalia counties were also a nuisance to Alice as well, arguably even more of a nuisance when it came to breast size with Yorkshire and Cumbria jointly ranking it on top next to Emily, both of then were proud of it, and Suffolk and Norfolk being somewhat flat chested and being Norfolk envious of Alice in a way but Suffolk being proud of it. Anyway aside from that. *makes weird L4D2 Ellis adrenaline noises*

* * *

Alfred arrived back. "Whew...we got that sorted out" he panted. Alice was relieved to see him back but she was more bothered about his control over the electricity and the gas. "I just hope this won't happen when we're married" she said. "Nuh-uh" replied Alfred as he sat down. "I have this all under control now. If I don't pay up by the end of the month after my bill is due, I'll be cut off, so I gotta pay anyway if I want my electricity to carry on, and my gas as well" He sat down next to his fiancée.

Arthur and Alfred had a question to pop. "I've been thinking" said Arthur to Alfred. "As it is not long until I need to go for new year, could I take Emily with me?" Alfred thought about it. "Hmm...yeah, if she's happy with it, and I was also wanting to ask you if Alice could stay with me for the New Year" Alice blushed. "Well, I did think about it" she replied hastily "I am getting more used to you than I was a few months ago, so I can say I'll be happy to" "Uh well...okay" replied Alfred. Emily was of course delighted. "Yippee!" she squeaked. "Not so saucy" replied Alfred. "I am still only giving you a try first"

A bit later, it was time for Arthur to leave with Emily for the New Year. Italy, Germany and France had all left one year earlier. "Here, take this" said Alfred to Emily and he gave her a book for England 'Cooking for Dummies'. "This should help Iggy to cook better" Alfred chirped to Emily as Arthur was waiting for Emily. "Are you coming?" he asked bemusedly. "Yep I am!" replied Emily. "What's that you've got here?" puzzled Arthur as he noticed the book in Emily's arm.

"Alfred Gave me this" replied Emily and then she showed him the book 'Cooking for Dummies'. "Oh" replied Alfred "Interesting...somewhat peculiar...but then again, I was on the verge of resorting to ready meals because my cooking is bad and I'm a lazy wanker at times" Arthur seemed to sigh as he took the book and walked out of the door. "Happy New Year then" he said as he left the door, leaving Alfred on his own with Alice.

Alfred sighed and looked at his watch. It was 6:45pm EST, or 18:45 for you 24hr guys. "Well, looks like we can do with something to eat" he said to Alice. "I can do with a hot dog" replied Alice "Maybe you can go for a Salad or something instead" Alfred let out a heavy sigh "Yeah...yeah...yeah...I'll have a Big Mac when it gets to the New Year hour" he replied and then went into the kitchen. Alice smiled. "Well...New Year's resolution, eat more salads and less junk food?" "What?!" replied Alfred from the Kitchen "Says the one who wants a hot dog!" Alice chortled at it.

_HAPPY NEW YEAR FOLKS! THAT'S IT._

_BTW, I MYSELF WAS THE BANK MANAGER. Even though I don't wanna be a Bank Manager, and not really good with finances, I did take the role of that. But hey ho..._


End file.
